Unlimited refills

I’m in a much better mood than I have been for about the last ten days. I was about to text River to tell her then I realized why: we had a great fuck last night. The first one in about ten days. Now I really have to text her. Ok. Just did.

For a long time I’ve said River’s fatal flaw is being too nice, or rather, too accommodating, at her own expense.  But lately it’s being too busy, not having a good work/school/life balance. Which may just be fallout from that first fatal flaw. Because of the imbalance I haven’t been feeling emotionally or physically close in the right ways to want to initiate sex. I’d actually rather support her by letting her get the sleep she needs. Which is ok for while.

We talk about this of course, and she opens up most of a day for family activities which was great. But at the end of the day (literally), I feel like sex would just be something I do to her, sex for sex’s sake, or rather for my sake. I still don’t have the right emotional warmup.

So I think about it, because that’s what I do, and I realize that I haven’t done a back rub for her in a while. Back rubs are great. I love touching and being touched. I love River melting beneath me. Back rubs are good physical and emotional warmup for both of us.

So I let River know that’s what we need, and she agrees. We’re so compatible.

And we have a good back rub followed by a great fuck with an incredible finish.

And the next day I’m in a good mood. Sex is my best antidepressant ever. I want a prescription for it. I want to be able to say, “Look!  My doctor says sex PRN but at least every other day.  Unlimited refills.”

P.S. That would be a fine ending for this post. But I have to add, I wish I had a doctor. Where we live there aren’t enough to go around. Maybe River can get the prescription.

Sweet little fuck, aka meat dildo

River has to leave tomorrow morning. She doesn’t usually leave without a little parting gift. But she’s had a hectic day and she’s totally frazzled. When I’m like that a nice fuck is just what I need. But she’s the complete opposite. It would just be piling on to her non-stop day.

She surprises me by coming over to snuggle on me in bed. “I was hoping you’d do that.” “You must have been hoping pretty loud.” But how far will it go? Is she just snuggling on me because she thinks I expect something, and that I won’t like it if she leaves for a few days without the parting gift? It would be ok. I know she’s frazzled, and I don’t want to make it worse.

“You probably just want to sleep. And I’m stinky.” “Nice come on. Does that work with most girls?” “Most girls don’t just want to sleep.” “That’s what you think.”

Then she pulls out the magic wand. “There’s time for a quickie.” Now the pressure is on. River likes to be fucked in the orgasm. But can I get a good stiffie before she orgasms? Damn ED.

She’s buzzing herself. I’m fingering myself, and touching her body for inspiration. A progress report: “I’m not there yet.” Maybe she’ll have to wait for her second orgasm. “Take your time. I can hold off. And make it even better.” “You don’t hold off very often.” “Usually it takes so long I just have to go with it when it happens.” That’s how it is for me on the antidepressant. I don’t like it.

The thought of River holding off, controlling her orgasm to make it even better, turns me on. I slip a finger into her for her g-spot. My cock stiffens nicely. “I’m ready.” It can be hard to tell when she’s coming, but when she switches the wand off it’s a sure sign. My finger slips out. My cock slips in. And we fuck.

River shudders and moans beneath me as I aim for her g-spot and pound her. It’s going to be quickie for sure because despite the antidepressant I can feel it already. It’s nice how her g-spot is so stimulating for both of us.

But it’s not a normal orgasm for me. The Citalopram is factoring in. It’s achingly slow. It’s like it doesn’t want to come. And even when it does it’s like slow motion, almost painful in a nice super-sensitive way, like I’m drained from coming four times already and there’s nothing left to squeeze out. But I work it for all it’s worth, and River’s enjoyment is infectious.

“That shall be known as the Sweet Little Fuck. I think it will help me sleep.” Interesting. For me it was more like being a meat dildo. But I don’t mind. She should use me like that more often.


I often suspect, even accuse, River of not thinking about sex. Even when we’re having it.

Turns out I’m wrong.

We’re in bed last night, our bodies touching in interesting ways. I always like to be touching.

“What are you doing?” “Thinking.” “Can you do something else at the same time?” “I can get my back rubbed.”

She rolls over. I oil up her back and give her a long deep rub, top to bottom, side to side, up her neck. I really love rubbing her back, putting all the attention into it that I can. I get the occasional “mmm” which from River is high praise.

But I’m not entirely altruistic. I’m sitting behind her, my cock resting on her ass, and when I lean forward I get a nice sensation from grinding against her. Just a bit. Don’t want to be too obvious. Not yet.

River has been having a good think while I do her back. It’s hard for me to stop, but I think we’re getting to the next stage. But we haven’t talked about strings. “Now what?” “I’m putty in your hands.” Ok then.

My cock is halfway hard. It’s soon fully erect and as ready as I am. River tilts her ass up and gives her sexy wiggle while my cock inches into her welcoming pussy. And we fuck.

“Are you thinking?” “Yes.” “About what?” “Fucking.”

Sometimes it’s good to be wrong.

Dangerous, a little

I was going to write a redux to this post.  Whatever that is.  I just like the word.  I like thinking about the word.  Maybe I just like red words.  Redux.  Redress.  Reductio ad absurdum.  But I have my redoubts.  A redux.  Something of a postscript here. But what I have to say deserves better.  So I’ve moved it up here, to the top.  A predux.  Here it is:

This was a nice session, physically and emotionally. Sweet but with plenty of raunch factor. River and I can’t have a truly great physical session without the emotional part. I really enjoyed River coming on to me out of the blue during shark week, literally coming out of her blue panties. The it was a real turn-on to have her taking on the challenge, the dual role of getting us both ready, bringing off her first orgasm while attentively jacking my cock hard so we could fuck. I kept thinking, wow, she really wants it, wants me, what a treat, and I’m more than happy to go along for her ride. I hope there’s more where that came from. And then there was Brook’s interjection near the end. The stuff memories are made of.

It’s been over a week of no sex. That’s a long time for me. Like not having sex since the stone age. But, I tend to reach a peak of desire, lust, and horniness after about three days then things taper off and I’m less on edge. It would be so much easier if I didn’t have to live with River running around wither her nipples poking through her shirt, and sleeping naked in bed with me. There’s just something about a naked sweetie.

I brush my teeth and come to bed. River’s on shark week. So she’s wearing panties to bed. It’s sort of a signal. She’s a lot sexier and nicer to snuggle on when she wears some kind of nightie along with them, but it’s not the kind of thing she tends to remember. Sometimes I think being cute hot sexy sweet snuggly is the bane of her existence.

Before I turn out the light I peek under the covers for a quick panty check. Dark blue. Shark week it is.

But then a nice surprise.

“Hi there,” she says as she artfully twines a warm leg around mine. I’m pretty sure she’s coming on to me and it’s not just my eternal wishfully optimistic thinking. But she can’t possibly be into her post-period horny time yet. Which is when we were thinking the first of our once-a-month rendezvous would occur. I’m not gonna argue though.

“Be careful. That might be dangerous.” “Sometimes I like dangerous.” Well. Usually I tell her that I need to write her lines and give her a script, but I can work with that. “I definitely like dangerous.” The panties come off. She’s out of the blue.

She reaches down for my balls and pushes them up alongside my shaft, which at the moment is not very shaft-like. It’s an effective first move, in several ways. It’s so nice not to be doing all the work. Her hand feels great. And she’s got things positioned for a firm rub. “I’m getting some response.” “I wish I could get some response out of you.” “Maybe the wand will.” “Can you do us both at the same time?” “Let’s find out.”

I pick the magic wand up off the floor and hand it to River who switches it on and puts the buzz on her clit. She must be doing the wand left-handed because she’s doing me right-handed. And doing a fine job of it. It doesn’t hurt that I get to think about how she’s doing us both at the same time, which is pure turn-on. I wonder if it’s turning her on as much as it is me. I’m guessing the answer is yes, since playing with my cock and getting me hard seems to do something for her. But maybe it’s just distracting her from her “real” work with her own parts. I hope not.

And wow, she’s coming already. Good thing her attention has gotten me hard enough for the stick-in. I think. She switches off the wand while she comes. I roll towards her, slip my legs under her knees. She reaches down, lines us up, my cock nestles against her pussy opening then pushes into her familiar comfort. And we fuck.

Her orgasm continues as I grab her shoulder for leverage and push hard and deep and steady. Even though it’s shark week River’s pussy doesn’t have that strange slippery feel that it often does at this time of the month. It has a nice soft lusciousness. “You feel surprisingly good tonight.”

In our position it’s easy to finger River’s clit while we fuck. She takes over. Everything, my memory included, blurs as she goes for another one and I angle my cock to slide along the bone at the front of her pussy. “That’s really sweet.” Now she should be writing my lines. I should be saying “It’s meant to be.” And we’re fucking through her second orgasm.

I could come too, but I’m enjoying this too much, as usual. And I’ve got other plans. River lifts her leg over me as I rotate to sit in front of her, never losing our connection. My arm keeps her leg raised in what we call Reader Position because of its effective and memorable use in the movie The Reader. I watch my cock disappear into her shadowy darkness as we both catch our breath.

Brook’s voice from another room breaks the supposed silence. “Be quiet you guys!” “We’re just breathing,” River calls back. “Well stop it!” Will that teach us to fuck with our door closed? Not likely. I like having the door open, and I think River does too. Sometimes she likes dangerous.

What to do

For a while I’ve been wondering what to do here. I still am. It’s not like I’m out of ideas. I’ve got ideas. I’ve even written some of them. But haven’t posted them. At least not yet.

River has gotten increasingly asexual. I understand and relate to that by thinking about my own asocial tendencies. Not antisocial. Asocial. There’s a limit to how much social I can take, but I do like it every now and then and even miss it when I haven’t been social for a while. But I don’t think about it much. And I don’t seek it out.

And that’s how River is with sex. Doesn’t think about it, doesn’t seek it out, can’t take too much of it, but definitely enjoys it when it happens in moderation, both the sex itself and the connection it gives us.

I was going to write more but I’ll stop there for now, even though I’ve got a lot of words rattling around in my head that want to come out.

Ok, I’ll let some words out. We’ve decided to cut back from every three days or so to maybe once a month, or whenever River feels the urge. That’s one of my ways of showing River I love her.

This is not going to be one of those situations where the man or woman says fuck it, I’m not going to initiate, I’m going to wait until my partner comes to me. If ever. I’ve read people who write about stuff like that. Their relationship is already lost and they can’t even talk about it. Waiting for your partner is not going to fix anything. It’s a recipe for disaster, and the dish has already been cooked.

River and I talk. Our relationship is good. Our plan is mutual. Never mind that we’ve made the same once-a-month or whenever plan many times before and I haven’t been able to stick with it. Snuggling with River every night without sex isn’t easy. It’s like foreplay for me. But not for her, she says.

We had a great fuck last night. I should be writing about that.

Have a nice day

I’ve been playing with myself in the few minutes before River comes to bed. I’m not sure this is going to work. River came home wanting to use the Magic Wand, and I’d really like to come through for her despite buzzing myself out on Adderall and caffeine during the day.  But I’ve felt like things weren’t going to work before, and I always try to stay optimistic because I don’t want to create a self-fulfilling prophecy of failure. And why wouldn’t I be optimistic about fucking River. Especially since she’s the one with the urge tonight.

She comes in, drops her robe, and gets under the covers with me. We snuggle a bit then I grab the Magic Wand off the floor and hand it to her. I always wonder what the women who clean the house think when they see it there. I imagine they’ve seen it all.

“I don’t know how you do that with that thing.” “Neither do I.” She throws the switch and there’s the heavy-duty hum of her clit being erased, rubbed out, ground down, obliterated.

I kneel beside her, facing her, using my hands to take inspiration from her boobs and body. Women with small sporty tits really drive me crazy.

I feel a little response in my cock as she does her thing under the covers with her knees up and I rub and brush and squeeze her tits and surroundings then slide my hand down to feel some bush between my fingers. I’m not going to be able to fuck her in her first one. Maybe not even the second. But I should be good to go by the third.

Shortly into her first one she switches off the Magic Wand and keeps things going with her fingers. Watching her and thinking about what she’s doing gets me harder.

She keeps going and we have a mutual masturbation session, with me watching her work her own pussy while I stroke my hardening cock, until her body convulses with her second one. “You look like you’re ready.” It’s true. I’m plenty hard. I’ve just been having a good time watching.  She turns towards me, spreads her wings, I lean forward and plunge into her, and she pulls off another one as we fuck, a good hard pussy-pounding of a fuck, while I pull a nipple into my mouth and River gasps. I hold off through that one, but with River enjoying fucking so much it’s my turn pretty soon and I keep banging into her pussy like a wild man right through my orgasm.

We slow down and keep going until I’m no longer hard enough. Then I see River going for another one under the covers. “I couldn’t resist.” “I’m glad you can do that. I wish I could.” “Those were nice lingering ones with lots of aftershocks.”  I want to come back as a girl.

I told her I’d had both Adderall and caffeine — Constant Comment tea, which I always think of as an old lady tea but it’s got one of the better caffeine kicks of any variety. But I didn’t tell her I’d taken double my usual Adderall dose. So I guess Adderall is off the hook for causing sexual dysfunction. Which is good, because I came this close to chucking it in the trash even though it is good for some things.

“I wonder what got into you?” “Post-period horniness?” “But that was our third fuck since your period. The Adderall fuck, the morning fuck, and now this one.” It’s been really great fucking every day and a half.  That really is my ideal frequency, and I like the switch-up between morning and evening. “I don’t know. Maybe I just had a good day.”

Speed kills?

Well it wasn’t the next night, but it was the morning after that.  A bit of a cheat really because of the morning wood.  But as usual  I let my erection subside then snuggled on River until I got properly aroused, because fucking with morning wood … there’s just something missing.

So I’m spooned on River, getting hard, and she’s doing her best not to notice, even when I slide my cock under her ass and rub against her pussy.  How she can keep from reaching down and at least touching it if not slipping it right in is beyond me.  I know she hasn’t had a warmup but she doesn’t really like a warmup.  “Fucking for foreplay” I call it.  And here she is, true to form, making me do all the work, get her lips parted set my cock in place and push.  Not much movement this morning, more like a fancy hug.

Oh yeah.  We just did this a day and a half ago.  When I had the Adderall-induced ED.  A day and a half is perfect for me but she’s more like once a month.  No wonder she didn’t have the uncontrollable urge to reach down and stick it in.  At least this morning I’ve got a good stiffie, staying hard for  a long time with just the occasional stimulating movement.  It’s really more about the hug.  The fuck is an extra bonus.  Some mornings I wouldn’t even be thinking about coming but last time was a bit unsatisfying so a nice orgasm would be welcome this morning.  Something to get the day off to a good start.

Eventually I roll River onto her stomach and I roll up onto her.  That’s the stuff.  I’ve got one leg alongside hers, the opposite foot against her other leg, squeezing them together.  Tight pussy.  God she feels good under me.  Everything about her.  I reach up under her arm and our hands squeeze together.

It’s still a nice slow fuck.  I can feel all the nuances of her walls as I slide in along this side, then that side, then drill in steep.  Ooo, I feel the twinge of that orgasm, like stepping over some kind of threshold.  I hold off a few times as we fuck.  Yes, we: River is pushing her ass back against me and giving the occasional moan.

Finally I just let go.  I’m still as the wave of orgasm picks me up and throws me against the shore.  The spurts of jizz emptying my nuts deep into her pussy feel right this time.

We hold our position for a few minutes, then I roll off and we do our usual t-shirt cleanup ritual.  A good start to the day.

Wait a minute.  I didn’t mean to write all that.  I just wanted to say that I buzzed out on speed and caffeine today and found a phone to have order me on Amazon with her Prime account.  Then River came home and surprise surprise she said she had an urge that’s going to take the Magic Wand to satisfy.  Holy crap.  It’s only been another day and a half which is perfect for me.  But I hope my speed doesn’t kill my performance.  I’d really like to fuck River in the orgasm tonight.  She’d like it too.