What to do

For a while I’ve been wondering what to do here. I still am. It’s not like I’m out of ideas. I’ve got ideas. I’ve even written some of them. But haven’t posted them. At least not yet.

River has gotten increasingly asexual. I understand and relate to that by thinking about my own asocial tendencies. Not antisocial. Asocial. There’s a limit to how much social I can take, but I do like it every now and then and even miss it when I haven’t been social for a while. But I don’t think about it much. And I don’t seek it out.

And that’s how River is with sex. Doesn’t think about it, doesn’t seek it out, can’t take too much of it, but definitely enjoys it when it happens in moderation, both the sex itself and the connection it gives us.

I was going to write more but I’ll stop there for now, even though I’ve got a lot of words rattling around in my head that want to come out.

Ok, I’ll let some words out. We’ve decided to cut back from every three days or so to maybe once a month, or whenever River feels the urge. That’s one of my ways of showing River I love her.

This is not going to be one of those situations where the man or woman says fuck it, I’m not going to initiate, I’m going to wait until my partner comes to me. If ever. I’ve read people who write about stuff like that. Their relationship is already lost and they can’t even talk about it. Waiting for your partner is not going to fix anything. It’s a recipe for disaster, and the dish has already been cooked.

River and I talk. Our relationship is good. Our plan is mutual. Never mind that we’ve made the same once-a-month or whenever plan many times before and I haven’t been able to stick with it. Snuggling with River every night without sex isn’t easy. It’s like foreplay for me. But not for her, she says.

We had a great fuck last night. I should be writing about that.

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